When it comes to men and women in relationships, the Venus and Mars analogy suggests that the sexes live in different universes. But when you’re in a relationship that you thought was perfect to begin with, but now there’s nothing good about it at all – you need to take stock and decide whether it’s best to let it go.
Relationships take work, there’s no doubt about it. And the obvious thing to do when cracks appear is to talk them through. Find out if what you have is worth saving. This means compromises, treaties, and lots of hard work. But sometimes, no matter what you do, the dying embers refuse to come back to life. Here are some signs that your relationship could be over, and it’s time to move on:
- There is no closeness or communication any more. Obviously, the ‘warm and fuzzy’ feelings you had when you first started dating were what kept you attracted to one another. But after a period of time (researchers say this at about the two year mark) these feelings tend to wear off, and unless you look for new ways to keep those feelings alive, the relationship could deteriorate even more.
- Usually when there’s no closeness, there’s no sex. If you haven’t had any intimacy in your relationship for what seems like a long time, it’s a key indicator that your relationship is floundering. Often, having children can dampen a couple’s sex life, as can a busy career and other stress factors – and this can sometimes be repaired with counseling. But if you just aren’t attracted to each other any more, then this is an obvious sign that the relationship is fizzling out.
- Constant verbal bickering and fighting over just about everything is another sign that the relationship is not healthy. In extreme cases, you may even find that physical violence becomes a factor, in which case you need to seek outside help immediately.
- The things you once loved about your partner are now the most annoying, and you’re finding it difficult to fathom why you once loved his quirky traits and mannerisms. He may feel the same way. Unfortunately this is one of the most common factors that indicate the breakdown of a relationship. If you realize he’s not going to change (and you’re not either) then perhaps it’s time to break it off.
- He’s spending more and more time with his friends and often doesn’t turn up when he says he will. Not wanting to spend time together is another significant sign that things are not good.
- Last but not least, if either you or your partner are feeling attracted to other people, or are tempted to cheat, then it’s obvious that it’s time to go your separate ways.
Breaking up is, as the song suggests, hard to do. But recognizing the symptoms of a doomed relationship can save you extended periods of heartache and allow you to release each other from the pain. Who knows, it may even be possible to remain friends.
If your man is pulling away or he’s just stalling and keeping things as they’ve always been without moving the relationship forward into a real, lifelong commitment. Learn how to turn things around with Commitment Tips